Survivors of Domestic Violence


Who we were and where we are today

This website is a place for support to women and men who are survivors of domestic violence.

To distinguish between Victim and Survivor this author notes the following:

Victim– Someone who is in the middle of a tragedy and does not know which way to turn. This can be a person who is still with an abuser or someone who is out but still not sure if they should stay away. The victim is caught up in an emotional turmoil AND paralyzed with fear, is unable or uncertain about their choices. This emotional turmoil can be mental health issues with an onset either pre-perpetrator, during and/or post-abuser. It can also include chemical dependency (thus dual diagnosis), financial insecurity, and the welfare of their children. If you are a victim of Domestic Violence and need help please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call toll free (24 hours) 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.  If you are outside of the US please try googling for a hotline or organization in your country.

PLEASE NOTE THAT INTERNET USAGE CAN BE MONITORED AND CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT TO CLEAR COMPLETELY.  If you are currently a victim of domestic violence please make a call today to an organization that can help you and get you to safety.

Survivor – Someone who has made a clear and conscious choice that has taken them past their circumstance of tragedy. This person is no longer concerned with whether to stay or go as they have been able to see past their current situation and recognize there is hope for a better life. The survivor is a state of consciousness that not all victims will be able to attain, yet it is always possible. This is why we distinguish between the two, to give the victim a status to look forward to, something to accomplish.

Support – It is important that you have support in the process of being a survivor. This could involve a Counselor/Therapist, Battered Women’s Shelter, (The best way to find a shelter near you is to google ‘battered women’s shelter’ and the area in which you live) a case worker and/or a Spiritual Practitioner. It is important that you don’t go at this alone. But then a survivor would not, because this is how you become a survivor.

Domestic Violence is not prejudiced nor are the roles irreversible. Men and women can be batterers just as both sexes can be victims and ultimately survivors. Violence is found in all races, religions, and cultures, as well as sexual preference. This site does not generalize and all peoples are welcome regardless of background, as long as you are not the batterer.

Here is some more useful help and info on domestic violence and what to do if you are currently a victim of this

Thank you for visiting this site. Make sure to bookmark us and visit us from time to time.

“That which does not destroy us can only make us stronger.” Nietzsche

How to Spot An Abuser


What is an abuser? The dictionary and the internet (wikipedia) defines an abuser as:




  1. someone who regularly or habitually abuses someone or something, in particular.

    • someone who makes excessive use of alcohol or illegal drugs.

      “intravenous drug abusers”

    • someone who sexually assaults another person, especially a woman or child.

      “an alleged child abuser”

But an abuser is way more than those words. An abuser is a person who afflicts pain and suffering to those around him. An abuser is a person who puts the people around him in pain and misery.

Many people suffer from abusers. They feel scared, traumatized and some eventually become abusers themselves. Domestic violence is a real issue. But abuse does happen everywhere and anywhere.

Who is an Abuser?

An abuser is person who willingly or unwillingly puts someone in pain and peril through abusive action. An abuser can be anyone. It can be your husband, wife, child, your boss or even a friend. Abusers often become abusers themselves because they have seen abuse and often times unconsciously accepted abuse as a part of life.

An abuser does not have to necessarily physically hurt you or sexually harass you. An abuser can be a bully. He or she places you in a vulnerable positions and belittles you.

Traits of an Abuser

Abusers normally grow up to be abusers or have been abused before. They may be suffering from a form of mental illness so they enjoy inflicting pain. They may also have has a difficult childhood and is silently seeking revenge.

Possessiveness – Abusers normally show possessiveness. They will say that they love you and that what they are doing is because they love you. They don’t want you to go out by yourself. They don’t want you to have a friends or have a life for that matter.

Jealousy – Jealousy is a big sign of being abusive. Trust is a sign of mental stability and relationship loyalty. If a person is unreasonably jealous, then he or she can be an abuser.

Humiliation – An abuser uses embarrassment and humiliation to belittle you. He or she makes you feel small and worthless. He or she may use abusive language that may make you feel less of yourself. Romantic partners who use humiliation can turn relationships bitter and lonely. Parents who often put their children on spot in front of others can cause emotional torture to themselves

Dominance – Dominance is equal to power and power is what abusers crave. They will play games that involve power and guilt. They often times do not like to be called out for their mistakes and would counter attack you and turn the blame back to you.

Abusers normally feel that they have the mental and emotional authority in the relationship. If you are dating a person like this or married to this person, he or she will try to assert themselves all the time.

Guilt Trip – Abusers normally use guilt and love in order for an abused to stay in the relationship. They would show their vulnerable side. They would make you feel that they need you. They also want you to feel that you are helping them. When guilt does not work, they may harm you physically or mentally.

Irrational – Dealing and negotiating with an abuser is almost impossible. They have a pretty clear cut idea of the things they want. They will not allow mistakes or other decisions besides their own. Reasoning with them is is futile.

They also too spontaneous and easily do get carried away by their emotions. They get into this whole whirlwind romance thing because they are afraid of losing a person and want to be living together right away.

Controlling – Abusers often want to put you into your place by controlling everything and anything that you do. They want to tell you what clothes you should wear, who you talk to and what you do in your life.

Blamer – An abuser tends to blame everyone else for his or her problems. He sees himself as the victim. He thinks that the whole world is out to get him and thus he needs to fight back.

Hates or hurts animals and children – Abusers normally show abusive behavior. They tend to be hurtful to vulnerable creatures like animals and children. Even young children who tend to inflict pain on animals normally grow up to be abusers. This is because abusers have little or no respect for life that they deem lesser than theirs.

Past abuse – Abusers may have experienced abuse before. They may have a a parent who physically hurts them or physically hurts their other parent. They witness pain and suffering and hate this but eventually become conditioned that pain is part of life. They tend to repeat the things they have seen or experience before. Without proper counseling and guidance, victims of abuse can become abusers as well.

Why Do You Need to Know Who Is An Abuser?

You need to know this because love is not enough to protect you from abuse. If you life with an abusive partner, you will live a miserable life. Cutting ties with an abuser early on is better than living with them in misery. When you know that a person is an abuser, you can lead them also to seek help and counseling.

Stories from other survivors

Survivor's Stories: True accounts of survivors of domestic violence.
Survivor’s Stories: True accounts of survivors of domestic violence.
Lisa Helm,
I am also a domestic violence survivor. After being married and abused for 12 years, i finally found the courage to leave him. He then came after me and shot me, because he “wanted me back”. He then took his own life, i guess he thought i was gone. He done this in front of our children.. But i survived… It will be 5 years this June ’05. Life is a struggle, but i’m alive and i’m able to be feel free, and not afraid. My two kids and i struggle emotionally on a daily basis because of what my husband done. But i try really hard not to let him win… i feel if i break down, he wins. So i’m staying strong. I make a point to say to myself every morning… “be strong- you survived”. It helps me put a smile on my face everyday. To all of the ladies or men that are going through a domestic violence situation right now… you should find your courage to leave… but PLEASE be careful… get as far away as possible. Everyone have an awesome day… Lisa

I am a survivor of a fifteen year marriage – fourteen of those years on increasingly abusive emotional and psychological and eventual extremely violent abuse. I have been left disabled for a time . . . trauma to the left temporal lobe and torn and sprained muscles in my upper back, and neck, along with compacted cervical disks. This last ‘hit’ was a little over a year ago – I am in the middle of a divorce and am struggling to keep my two children and myself afloat. The verbal and psychological abuse has scarred my inner soul – my zest for life. It has not destroyed it though, it is just hard to pull myself out of the murkiness. I am healing – it takes time, it is frightning at times – memories return – to all of those who feel that memories are terrible, try to look at the experiences as having NOT been your fault – but an attestation of you having been a victim. No one deserves to be beaten; no one deserves to be degredaded; no one deserves to have their feelings of self-worth destroyed.

Rae, , 1/13/2005 6:53 AM
i am a survivor of childhood abuse. i still have a lot of anger and hate for my father who decided to kick me out of his house on a cold winter night, but am slowly dealing with this anger with a therapist. verbal abuse is just as bad as physical, if not worse. though i have dealt with both, the psychological impact has been horrible to deal with.

Brenda, ,
A survivor of emotional abuse I am an artist dealing with that topic and specifically creating work about child abuse, sexuality, identity and family secrets. Been feeling the need to connect with other survivors. Happy to find your website.

Tracy, ,
I don’t know where to start but it’s 2:30 in the morning where i am so that showld give you a idea of how emotionaly distressed i am. I was in a 5 year abusive relationship. I startaed to leav him abouight 1 year ago when i found out he was abusing heroin. He has always been a partier but he has gotten out of control.He would drink we would fight and i usually would get hit but those wounds heeled it is the emotioal stuff that is keeping me up at night.The bed is still worm where he laid. The past few weeks have been the worst. My life turned upside down. We had a child 8\26 She hasen’t seen much of her father and thats not what i wanted. As abusers do he promest me the world. He gave me nothing. I have other children 10,6 they hate him. I have had money missing cars cracked up and it still took me this long to smartin up. I could take up this hole page with my story. I just need to find some inner piece because i still feel like it’s my fault. He has always made it my fault , he goes

carol, ,
I came onto your website just browsing. I am a recent survivor of domestic abuse. There is hop e and help. Thank you for having this available to those of us who are healing. GOD SPEED,CAROL

irish mom, ,
I look forward to your responses on the message board. Your website has helped so many and I hope you can help us.

Lee Cox, Raised on Fear,
My story of being rasied by a batterer and then becoming one is available on my web site. Free copies are available to anyone working with people involved in dtop family violence.

elizabeth conrad
I am writing a book as a fundraiser for a NJ shelter called Strengthen Our Sisters. I would be honored if you could share a poem or recipe for this book. Also, I would love to communicate with you about how to use poetry as a healing method for survivors. I have had my own abusive marriage for almost 24 years and I am about to graduate with a college degree in approx. 10 weeks. I pray that I will have the courage to eventually make a decision to be un dependent on a man who makes literally 10 times what I could financially and who uses this to keep me locked in. Anyhow, thank you for your courage and for your work.

Tina, Tina,
I have been out of my abusive marriage for over 6 years.I had to move out of state in order to feel safe and start life over.All was going well until the man I married after my divorce from my abuser, decided that he wanted to leave and get a divorce.Now I am going through a custody battle that is leaving me in turmoil emotionally again.After my new husband had left me my abuser ex started to pursue me and proposition me sexually.I have denied him and that fueled the fire for the battle of custody.I have lost once in court at a hearing, based on my marriage and divorce since my divorce from my abuser and other factors.What bothers me is how ignorant the legal authorities are regarding domestic violence.They basically said that the violence has not affected my son’s relationship with either parent.My son at 9 years old accused my ex of abuse and got reported to CPS.I had a poor attorney and I fear for his safety since he could be moving back to the state I left.If custody is given to my

kimberly dunigan,
hi again those of us who have been through a marriage or relationship of domestic violence knows how hard it is to get out of this situation but also know that we do not have to live like this or put up with this from the abusers i had 3 beautiful children from my abusive husband and i have my 4th child by a guy whom is addicted to drugs and alcohol he also was abusive verbally to me and mentally to me i have raised 3 children ages 23,21,17 and my 4th child is 8 yrs I know that it was God and my children that kept me going and kept from from committing suicide over the years anyone interested in e-mailing me can do so anytime at thank you kim

kimberly dunigan, , 8/29/2004 12:51 PM
Hello i was married for 9 years and went through domestic violence with my husband for the entire 9 yrs i finally left him and i have been divorced for 14 yrs i am so much stronger now FEEL free to email me if you have any questions or comments kim

Denise, , 8/1/2004 8:23 PM
Your registration for the message board registration didn’t work; and I really needed some support thanks for nothing. But that’s what the “Do Gooder” Community is all about.

Amy Jo, , 7/9/2004 7:45 PM
I am a survivor and I think that this is a great way to help people get out of the danger of what can happen to them and what has already happend to them. Keep up the good work.

B P Ewing, , 6/12/2004 4:16 AM
I am a survivor and enjoy website. Looking for support and communication with other survivors.

Brenda M Weber, I PROMISE NOT TO TELL, 5/26/2004 9:41 AM
I invite all of you to visit my site. I’ve written my autobiography dealing with my many years of sexual and domestic abuse, both as a child and an adult. This is a compelling story of a victim who has become a strong survivor. My story may help someone in similar situations.

jo, This is a, 5/23/2004 5:43 AM
The site link above (This is a isn’t mine but it sure helped me through emotional violence issues. Jo

Amanda, Amanda, 4/20/2004 5:01 PM
Hi, my father died when I was 15. He was, and still is my hero. He was a fantastic father but my mother was subjected to….violent outbursts. I hated him for what he did to my mother, and to us. He never hit us, but all 3 of us still suffer from split loyalties. We find it hard to settle into relationships, to trust. I find it hard to meet a man that matches my fathers plus points. I know how weird I sound, but its nice to write it I guess. Feel really mad doing it 18 years after his death though. It would be nice to be able to work through this I think…just dont know anyone who feels the same way. I love my dad, feel guilty even saying what I have said. He was such a great father, the only thing I can fault him on was his brutality towards my mother. The strange thing is, he was more loving than my mother. My mother loves us, she is just not as affectionate. She finds it a bit difficult I think to express her feelings. I dont think that is a result of my fathers viol

sharon, hotrodssunshine, 3/21/2004 5:28 AM
I need help I lost my car, my job, my home, my clothes and everything I had please help me start over. I also had to get mental help and I’m seeing a doctor for that now. BUT I NEED HELP VERY BAD RIGHT NOW. ( I’m hiding because if he and his friend finds me they will try to kill me I KNOW TOO MUCH !!!!

Lisa , , 3/8/2004 2:41 PM
Hi. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I went through it for 2 years and I have been away from it for 3 years. It is a hard thing to get away from but if you really want, you can do it. If anyone would like to email me, please feel free to do so.

JENNIFER, NA, 2/8/2004 6:14 AM
hello i am a survivor of 12 long years of D.V any site that helps people under stand about D.V is a good place to visit. there are a lot of people who under stand why women stay in a relationship that is abuses.i thank god i am among of the lucky ones who got out . my prayers go out to all the families who have lots love ones to D.V i still have trouble talking about some of the things that happen to me but thanks to god and some great people i have been free for over 7 years

Amanda Cotter, , 1/18/2004 7:37 PM
(sorry continued again it all wouldnt fit) my own. I wouldnt take any of it back or change it, because of it I am the strong person that I am today.

Amanda Cotter, , 1/18/2004 7:36 PM
world. Tony struck again and began to stalk us. He threatened Michael and me not wanting to put Michael in harms way I gave in and left Michael. For the next couple of weeks he prodded me to marry him. Then the final straw he parked in front of Michaels house and called me saying that he was going to shoot him if I didnt. Wanting to protect Michael I gave in. The next four months were the worst hell of all. I was all alone. I lost my family and friends and had no one to save me. When I had enough I left and went back to a family that was waiting with open arms. Tony went crazy and slit his wrists saying that he couldnt live without me. No he didnt die, and I was left with having to deal with him for three more years because he wouldnt sign the divorce papers. In the meantime Michael and I got back together. Tony even took me to court wanting alimony. Now I am 25 married to Michael and happy. I live with the dreams and thoughts of Tony still, but I have my strength back and my life is m

Amanda Cotter, , 1/18/2004 7:24 PM
When I was 16 years old i met a man who i thought was the man of my dreams. He was 4 years older than me and very good looking and charming. Everything was great until the first time I crossed Tony. The first time it was only a push down on the bed, I yelled and screamed but because i didn’t leave him I gave him the ultimate power over me. For the next year and a half I lived in hell. I was punched, kicked, spit at, yelled at, and my life was underneath Tony’s control. Please don’t forget that all this happened to me at one of the most impressionable and vulnerable ages. Finally a month before my 18th birthday i left. I now had moved out of my mothers house and was miles from where anyone could help me. Living with his mother and stepfather where the same kind of abuse happened. When I finally left i thought that I had my life back on track I met the real man of my dreams ( who by the way is my current husband). I met Michael through friends and he is the most wonderful man in the wor

Stacy , , 1/13/2004 9:19 PM
I left my abuser 15 months ago and I have absolutely no desire to go back to a life that was filled with physical, emotional, mental, verbal, financial abuse and probably a few I failed to mention. I am in the process of divorce now and had been in this horrible marriage for 7 1/2 years. During the course of the marriage to my batterer I lost myself, gained a bunch of weight and was constantly trying to hide the real deal. That type of life left me very physically and emotionally drained. While all the while I knew I wanted out, (for years) but we had three children, I didn’t believe in divorce, he would change and the excuses went on and on. I had left once, only to let him swindle his way back in, but when he came back I told him that if he did it again I would leave, fulwell knowing that that day would come I just hoped and prayed that I would make it through. Sure enough that day came where he got physical again and I kept my promise to him and myself- I left!!!! I am no longer a v

Amy Hellman, , 11/25/2003 6:33 AM
I too grew up in abuse and married into an abusive relationship. I did survive. I left with three children in tow. It took me 6 years to get my ex-husband to let go of me but he still plays his games. My children and I are safe. God bless everyone!

flower, none, 11/19/2003 7:52 PM doing a project for my english class..and i stumbled onto your website.why is it called Artemis-a site for Survivors of Domestic Violence?i like the site though

luvenia morris,, 11/10/2003 9:40 PM
need help in finding a probate attorney

Alanda, Cabin, 11/4/2003 5:52 PM
you should a resherch on Amber

Robin, , 11/3/2003 2:53 PM
I do not know what to do anymore..I have been in a physical and verbally abusive marriage for 22 years..I have a 16 and 17 year old and now they are suffering from all the yelling and screaming..I should have left years ago but, something just keeps drawing me back..I am serverly depressed and I take Paxel but, it is not working…I still have thoughts of suicide and feel this is the only way out sometimes..but, my love for my children keep me from going through with it..I have been there for them always and I have been the mother and father in most cases..Why can’t I leave him..?..He tells me all these things that he will do if I leave and try to collect child support..What can I do..I am 40 years old now and about to lose my mind..Please give me some advise..

Berwin, , 10/27/2003 12:54 AM
I am one class away from going to medical school to be a psychologist, and yet I seem to go from one bad (abusive)situation to another. I have physical pain and emotional scaring that haunts me. I always believed that if you did the right things (treated people fairly, were kind, hard working, did well in school (3.86 GPA), put good energy out that good energy would come back to you) my life would minimalistically be pleasant. Well, I’ve done all of the above mentioned and have, since birth practically, been treated with cruel and malicious behaviors and actions. I’m able to step outside of the situation and my emotional attachment to them in order to analyze, reflect, and find causality and recognize my own faults in the situation…just as I’ve been “trained” to do with my future clients…but that is not helping. Depression, hopelessness, and fear continue to increase and I’ve already attempted once to end my existence. I have a child that does not deserve to have it’s life affected!

Sandra, , 9/28/2003 1:49 PM
I pray for all the futures for all who visit here. I am (again) dealing with the drug addict problems of my X husband. After letting him come back 2 different times “clean” from jail & rehab, he is back to the same ‘ole, same ‘ole!! Thank God we are divorced and I own my own home and my own business. Our son is getting A’s & B’s in school. Life could be better, but I am glad that I have some power now! More power to you all!!

loraine, abrighterfuture UK, 9/21/2003 12:09 PM
This is a great site, absolutely wonderfull, I wish there was one half as good as this for the UK. I have been free 2 and a half years. Well done, the world needs more places like this for us to go and see that we are not alone. Keep up the good work and stay safe xxxxxx

KIMBERLY, KIMBERLY, 9/13/2003 11:35 AM

KIMBERLY DUNIGAN, , 9/10/2003 7:26 AM
hi my name is kimberly and i have been through years of domestic violence and emotional and physical abuse i am a survivor

Kathy, kathy’s Webhome, 8/24/2003 10:21 AM
You have a great site ! Keep up the fine work and God bless you! Hugs, Kathy

Bart Wirth, , 8/17/2003 2:50 PM
and ye harm none, do what ye will

ronda watson, none, 7/23/2003 12:01 PM
My name is ronda watson. I own land and a home. On March 14th 2002 my son-in-law Kevin Dougherty shot me, my daughter and grandaughter then he shot and killed himself on my property. We three are doing better. Not the best but better. We had to leave apache junction because kevin’s friends vowed they would finish what he started. I am upset still because I hired a lawyer who said I had 180 days to file against the city of mesa and pinal county. After the 180 days he dropped our case and advised us not to pursue this any further. You see my daughter and kevin were split up for about 6 months. on the mon before he did this there was a violent dispute with him and my daughter because she asked him to buy diapers for the girls. Then my daughter went to Wal-mart in apache junction and called me. I told her to call the police, she waited 3 hours for someone to finally show up. Kevin threatened to kill her before that. Officer Tatimez took her report, had a crime photographer take pictures, t

Anonymous, Anonymous, 7/6/2003 3:06 PM
I also am a survivor. I’ll be 60 in September (by the Grace of God), so I have lived past it quite a while now. I finally “escaped” in 1974, but the memories of the horror of those four years are still easily recalled. I wrote a book about my life including the part of my life that was centered around a man who loved me and our little son, but abused us. So many women have emailed me to tell me how much the book helped them to know that if I was able to find my way out of that maze (finally), then so could they. They have told me how my strength has given them strength to move forward, in whatever little way they could until they got free too. One of the reasons I wanted to write the book–and am looking to do public speaking to that end as well–was to pass along the strength I was graced with. If I can help one woman to find her own power and her own feet and her own mouth and her own spirit, then I’m happy. The book is available at any online bookstore. The isbn is 1-4033-4970-3. Pl


Chris, Stolen Children Network, 6/9/2003 5:24 AM
Great looking site. Well organized. Great balance of information. I was looking for a review of “A Map of the World” (it was rated “R” here in America, but “G” in Holland where I lived for the past 10 years… of course, pedophilia is, regrettably, legal in that country). Also I think you should have a special resource section on mothers who are abusers now that it is known that mothers are responsible for 55% of child killings and at least 29% of all child sexual abuse. I have some information posted at that you might want to examine along these lines. Please don’t continue to perpetrate the myth that women are always the victims. The number of men who are regularly beat-up by their wives but won’t come forward because of the great “masculinity” issue, is astronomical.

bridgett watson, bottomsgirl2000, 4/16/2003 8:04 AM
i am truing to find some research on how and why the child protective services can just walk in and take my baby girl with out having a real reason to take her and now im fighting to get her back but when i was involved with them the last time i did everything that they asked and i still lost my two boys because of them.

Karen, Relationships of Violence, 4/14/2003 10:28 AM
A victim by chance… A survivor by choice… I was abused by my partner and his brother for over 5 years, they took away my 2 babies who are Angels forever. I came across this site by chance as I look for information for a domestic violence forum and group for people who are effected by Domestic Violence. I want to be able to be there for people who have been subjected to any form of violence or abuse. Sites like this are so important

susan brumfield, , 4/3/2003 6:14 PM
My sister died because her husband killed her on August 1, 2002. He shot her seven times. He then killed himself. Things like this just don’t happen in my family. My husband and I are raising the three young sons, ages 4,3 and almost 1. She did not need to die. The courts did not protect her, the protective order was not bulletproof, she tried to leave him and start her life over, and he wasn’t having it. We put her in hiding for a while. She could have only survived if she would have changed her name and moved to a remote city. I’m looking for survivor information. My sister was beautiful, 35, and had just completed her master’s degree in Justice Leadership, ironically. I am a social worker. We miss her so much, the grief is so real. It is all so unfair.

luvenia morris,, 3/16/2003 8:31 AM
my new e-mail address 118 w 23 rd street long Beach ca 90806

Ronda Buck, , 3/15/2003 3:47 PM
I am so glad to have stumbeled into this website, I have only read the Author’s story, but am anxious to read more . Thanks

Christina Kumpe, , 3/13/2003 9:43 PM
I am a survivor. I was recently in an abusive relationship and had a heavy chemical dependancy problem. I stayed 6 months after it got bad. I thought there was no where to turn. I couldn’t even think clearly enough to find a way. A relative gave me a way out, and took me to a hospital over 3 hours away. It’s been three months. I have slowly started a new life. I have remained drug free and now a full-time college student. I am only 22 and I am glad I got out early. I hope only the best for those who have not.


Jackie, Esteem Publishing, 2/20/2003 2:50 PM
Hi to all you survivors and to all of you trying to desperately get out of a violent relationship. I have two books about the experience that are being used in Women’s shelters across the country. I have received many positive responses, that they are their “bible” and they carry them everywhere for support. Please check them out at my website or at The titles are “Knight in Shining Rust: Emotional Support for the Abused Woman” and “Walking on Eggshells: Emotional Support in Verse”. Good luck to all of you. Love, Jackie

Rhiannon, rhiafly, 2/19/2003 8:56 PM
Thankyou this site really was healpfull, my heart aches for these women i am so thankful that there is awareness sites out there to help the women. YOU GO GIRLS!!!!! reading these other stories of abuse and survivle and sometimes not makes my heart break I wish I could help? I really don’t even know what to say but I am sorry and my heart is with each and everyone of you may you find your way out.


Brandona Skelly, Brandona s, 1/23/2003 8:01 AM
I have been abused for many years by my husband C Montgomery Burns. He hit me and frced me to have sex with him. But I am now a new woman thanks to this heavenly web site.

Julie, , 1/8/2003 9:23 PM
I guess I have to start over,I want to do a website and my story and know I’m going to be safe? One abuser is in prison,the other has left the state,they do not know where I am. I am returning to college this Jan.22nd to get my degree in DVC. Scared,Julie

kamil, , 12/30/2002 7:59 PM
i am kamil, i have two children by my ex abuser, he was my live in boyfriend for 5 years. when i met him, i was living alone in my studio apartment in marina del rey california. i practiced yoga almost every morning at 8 am on the beach and i got to work in santa monica each day on my rollerblades down the bike path that runs along the ocean.i had been out of a verbally abusive relationship for two years and i was very happy. within 6 months of letting raul into my life, i lost my job, received 36 stitches to my forhead in an accident where he was driving drunk,was evicted from my apartment,became pregnant, began living in our car,and went on welfare to support him because he refused to work a normal job, saying that i would sleep around on him if he left me alone, had a second child by sex that he forced on me most of the time,i was severly suppressed and feared deeply for the safety of my children and myself. i existed like a walking corpse but never stopped asking god to please libe

Vicki Brumfield, Carols place of Peace, 12/24/2002 8:23 PM
I found this site to be very informing..and captivating….this is one of the best, if not the best site that describes in detail the theories behind the domestic violence situations. My sister was killed in 98 by her boyfriend of a yr…..i have had 3 long term domestic violence relationships myself….and am proud to say that I am free and on the road to recovery after my sisters death and 3 yrs of therapy. I am 42 and have returned to college also. Thank You for this site…Keep up the good work

Tonya, , 12/19/2002 9:29 AM
Thank you for this site!!! I am a victim of emotional abuse. My husband is smart enough to not hit me for fear of proof of abuse. However, sometimes I wish he would just hit me instead of saying some of the things he says. I’m in the process of leaving. There are alot of things that I have to do before I go so please keep me in your prayers. Thanks!!!

Cynthia, Cynthia, 12/14/2002 3:44 PM
This is all new for me, but please bear with me. I left my abuser three years ago in April, and when I did, I promised myself, I would never again find myself in the same situation. However, twice since, I have. The first time was five months after leaving him. I met a ‘nice’ guy, who seemed to be everything that my ex was not. That is, he was a firm believer in self-help. For example he went to counseling, a men’s group, and read every self-help book he could fine. My ex, on the other hand, made fun of such things. Anyhow long story short, we were friends for five months after we met, and dated for two months. After two months of dating, I had to stop things, because I started becoming physically ill – from the relationship. Yes, the relationship. Intuitively, I knew that this man was an abuser, but consciously, I did not want to accept it, so I started to become sick (the same thing had happened with my ex, in the end). I won’t get into the specifics of what he had done to me…but he

amanda stewart, , 11/18/2002 11:10 PM
Left my abuser 3 years ago, and feel like I’m still dealing with the fallout. WE have a great son together, and although I don’t want to poison my sons mind (his dad has 50.50 custody) I do not want to like what he has done to me

Betty, , 11/9/2002 9:22 PM
Hi, I have only been married since Jan and never thought my husband was abusive until a few days ago. He kept me captive in our home, hit me and threatened to shot me then himself if I ever left him. Thank God a neighbor heard a gun shot and called the police. He is in custady, I’ve filed for divorce and have a protective order. I’m with my dad and have moved all my belongings out of the home. The tough part is I still love him but I’ve got the support of family and friends so I’m gonna make it. I’m 50 yrs old, just lost my job but I’m okay. I pray every moment of the day that I continue to have the strength to start over again. Thank you, Betty

Robbi, , 11/7/2002 4:02 PM
I have just come out of a abused marriage and becasue I was not a member of the community my husband was from. I was blamed for the abuse I sufferd from my husband, he told them I was insane and mentality unstable. I was forced by a DV worker to go to a mental hospital by telling me if I didn’t she would have my children taken away from me. When I tried to tell her I was being emotionally and mentally abused, she asked me if I was being physically abused, I stated that not at that time, she told me to shut up and put up with it. I have started a yahoo group for women who have been refused help and protection by authorities.

Jen, , 11/3/2002 10:42 PM
I am a struggling survivor of 7 days…..this is the hardest thing I have ever had to face….I thought that nothing could hurt as bad as losing my grandfather, until I almost lost me…..I have a little girl to be strong for and I was on my last wheel two days ago….I am not sure how I stumbled upon this site, but I feel like there is hope. In reading from this site, I have learned that “great minds think alike” because I felt like I was reading my own journal….thank you for being here….

Danae, , 10/30/2002 10:07 AM
thank you for being another supportive link in my quest to regain myself and my inner power. I left my husband three months ago, and I’m in the process of filing for divorce. It is complicated but worth it. I will never trade in my freedom for someone else’s selfish needs and controlling ways ever again. too much hurt has made me weak, and yet…i know i am better off in this financially strained and difficult position than i ever was with him, or the many other people who have hurt me i the past….i am headed for survivor mode….

Lorraine, , 10/22/2002 8:02 PM
Thank you. I have left my batterer. I am not yet a survivor.

Jennie, JEN1363, 10/9/2002 8:39 AM
what a wonderful site . I wonder sometimes if I would have gotten out sooner than I did had I had the sources and the awareness that we have today. I thank God that I am alive .I went from a life of hell to now ( 10yrs later ) being married to a man who treats me like a princess .I was married to an abuser for 10 years and had one wonderful son with my abuser .I finally left my life of abuse and fear approx. 10 years ago . It was not until my son’s 16th birthday (some 6 yrs AFTER I left) , that I was made aware by him of some of his memories .What a stabbing feeling to hear that so much of what you thought you were covering up , wasn’t covered up at all . I do thank God for a wonderful school system and a great counselor who helped him adjust at the time of my divorce .My only two wishes in making it out of my life of hell alive are that my son NEVER follows in these steps ( my abuser was a third generation abuser )and that I might be able to help someone else .

LOUISE JONES, , 10/8/2002 4:01 PM

earline, Reaching Beyond, 10/3/2002 9:59 PM
Thanks for your site. If only this help had been available when we were living in the abuse. WE survived and are able to share the story with others who feel there is no way out.

Elba, survivor of domestic violence, 10/2/2002 6:03 PM
Hi; I really loved this site. It is loaded with information that is really helpful to me. I love it. I posted a message and I sincerely hope that I will get a response and some good advice and perhaps some help.

Pat Craven, Freedom Programme, 8/26/2002 8:14 AM
The Freedom Programme helps women to recover from domestic abuse and to avoid it in future. Unique and very effective Pat Craven

sunbeam, Survivors Empowerment Zone, 8/17/2002 6:22 PM
Enjoyed my visit at your site! : ) I’d like to invite you to visit our site and join our group!  Everyone is welcome as we all are either survivors or still in looking for support…I believe we need all the help we can get..I spent 25 years in horrid, unbelieveable to me now abuse…I am now a survivor..In hiding..But Alive…Please visit our

Tina, , 8/16/2002 10:33 AM
I was married for 10 years and had three beautiful children with my abuser. I had the courage to leave 15 years ago, but not soon enough. All of my children are grown and all have the scares of witnessing my abuse. My sons were stolen from me by my abusive husband during a summer vacation court ordered visitation. He signed over custody to his mother so I could see my two sons(12&9 at the time). I just resently reunited with my sons and I find that the cycle of violence is continuing in them. I am feeling so guilty and out of place to intervene. Help me with your words of advice and encouragement,Please.

caroline, , 8/1/2002 9:00 AM
In process of getting divorce from batterer.Need all the support I can get.

kathy, , 7/29/2002 1:23 PM
I found the cover page to be enlightening. I am a survivor and have four children from the loser abuser that is now serving time for abusing another woman soo bad she was in intensive care. I would like to write a book on my experiences from 1986-1997. I just don’t know how to get started. It would be beneficial for all and money wise for my children. I need a survivor of domestic violence support groupl

riza_lubag, , 7/14/2002 9:40 PM
I am happy to go to your website. I have been a battered wife and have chosen to leave my abusive husband who has been also a drug user. The future gives me and my children, now aged three and one, much promise, hope and peace.

Tiffany, Tiffany, 7/11/2002 7:38 AM
Hi, I am 16 years old and i live in a domestic violent home with my dad. It was awful. I am now writing a book about how i lived through it all. I am looking for people around the world to tell their stories in my book. You don’t have to tell your name, or mention anyone elses name. My deadline for my manuscript is October 17th 2002. If anyone is interest please write. Thanks Tiffany

Ashlei S., , 6/26/2002 4:47 PM
I am not sure what to say. I am 20 and have recently moved across the US to get out of a abusive relationship. What i would like to know is if it is ever possible for someone who was abusive to ever change for the better? I love him, or maybe i should say I love who I hope he could be. I am not sure what i should really do about all that has been going on in my life. I am just very scared to change. I recently found out that I am pregnant. So i wonder if he would beable to change so that our child would have a happy life. He is currently seeking professional help, do you think he could be the man i pray for him to be. Please if anyone can help please please email me at!! Thanks, Ashlei

Linda, Heavenly Sent, 6/21/2002 8:27 AM
Hello, I found your site through a Webring that I belong to”Women Against Domesic Violence”. I have been searching for a Help site like yours to add to my site as a help link.You have a GREAT site, I commend you ! As a survivor myself I know that one needs the direct support of others to begin the healing process. I am requesting your permission to add your Message Board link to my Abuse Support Site. It would offer great HELP to those visiting my site. Here is my site if you wish to view it before giving your consent. God Bless you for your good works. Sincerely , Linda

maria, marooshka, 5/30/2002 10:47 PM
keep up the networking excellent site and great and suitable name is artemis i amm a survivor like the best of us all it certainly has shown how specail i am going through the dv experince bless you all with peace joy and love all the best marooshka

Amber, , 5/28/2002 11:18 PM
You guys were very helpful the last time I came to this site, so I thought I’d try it again. I was told to go to to post the public information of my abuser and it’s been four days now and I still can’t access the site. If anyone know if this site is down or just having a bad day, let me know. Also, an update on my current situation. I finally talked to a lawyer who know what he is doing and just found out today that I should have no probs in obtaining my Order of Protection, so now I should be able to move on with my life in a positive manner. Yeah for me!!!! I’m so happy and content as I was really starting to become disheartened in the whole legal system. Thank you so much for any input in this matter.

Amber, , 5/23/2002 12:42 AM
This is more of a question than a message. I just got out of a dv relationship and I’m currently in a a very sticky court battle trying to achieve an Order of Protection and two criminal charges of a violation. I’m looking for a site in which I could post this abuser’s name, address, etc. I feel that the Order of Protection will be granted and that serves my purpose, but I also want to try in some way to preven this from happening to someone else. Let me know hwat you think. Thank you.

Lori, , 5/9/2002 4:45 PM
I would like to thank you for joining our ring. I appreciate you helping to spread awareness of Domestic Violence. Your site is a great addition to our ring.

aimee, smokey, 4/18/2002 8:49 AM
hello im a survivor ive been out of my bad realationship for 3years. but i still go to support groups and counseling. i would like to sign up for your group. so i can talk to others who have been in my situation. or also help some one to get out.

Stephanie Malloy, , 3/5/2002 12:08 PM
I am a victim of domestic violence and so is my six year old son. I am doing a research paper on both issues and would like anything that i can use to complete it. it is a college class assignment. Thank you

marilyn nelson, , 3/4/2002 3:39 PM
stay safe

Pam Danton, , 1/9/2002 3:27 PM
I suffered abuse for years thinking it was what I had to do.Then I found away to get out it was not easy and all I can say to anyone trying to get out of it is 1)IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.lots of knowing people make you feel it is.Don’t listen.2)keep your faith.Have faith that what is ment to be will be. And have faith in yourself.To thyn self be true.You can do anything you want to do, you need to want it bad enough. Thank you for listening as always ME!!!!!!!

Laurie, Lal, 1/7/2002 9:44 PM
What I am looking for is to get some help with dealing with long ago abuse..Domestic in 15 years ago so that I am paralized today because of it..I can’t let anyone in my life because I am too afraid of being hurt again..Help please…

, , 1/7/2002 9:42 PM
What I am looking for is to get some help with dealing with long ago abuse..Domestic in 15 years ago so that I am paralized today because of it..I can’t let anyone in my life because I am too afraid of being hurt again..Help please…

Monica, , 12/21/2001 9:51 AM
Thank you for this website. I have been browsing through the message archives, and have found so much inspiration, support, and information here. One year ago this month, I left a very abusive relationship that nearly destroyed me, literally. The aftermath has been quite difficult at times, but I remind myself to celebrate the fact that I got out, and I got my own life back on track.(Yay!!) Keep this great site going.. There are so many out there who need this! Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Robin, MacsGirl, 11/28/2001 3:41 AM
I was in a 10 year abusive marriage.The strength to leave came from the birth of my son. I felt the power to protect. I did not want him to grow up and repeat history. My family was not aware, as I was very ashamed and his family was a dysfuntional mess – beatings were ‘normal’.We are now 14 years FREE! A new life:remarried,sons, career. All is safe and well. Life is precious. It takes hard work but be strong.Don’t let anyone control your life! If I can do it…you can.

teresa, , 11/25/2001 2:45 AM
i am 36 yrs old and a survivor of dv. i have two children ages 15 and 12.i will begin college 1/14/02. i am taking human services, my goal is to reach out to the children/teens and stop the cycle. great site. i will be back real soon!!!!!!!!!

grace, grace, 11/22/2001 3:17 AM
Hi! I’m recovering too! Feeling better everyday. DV is not just the physical beatings, it’s the emotional abuse too which can be just as, if not, more devastating. You can’t see the bruises, and people question if you’re really being abused. Hey, even my brother said, “Well, he didn’t hit you.” I left before the beatings began. I saw the writing on the wall. For once I got out before it came to that.

Kimisha Small, , 11/4/2001 11:48 AM
I’m a college student and I am doing a research paper on Domestic Violence. I’m visiting your website to see if there is any information I can use in my paper.

Rebecca Fox, , 9/14/2001 8:09 AM
Unfortunately violence is a wide spread problems within our world – the US has become such a multi-cultured society that the issue of DV needs to be addressed on many levels as it pretains to one’s ethnic and cultural origins – addressing those differences is definitely a challenge. Let us not forget the men who also suffer such violence from the females in their lives – violence also crosses gender. I commend you on your efforts – your website is a testmony to the love that exits in the world – There Is ALWAYS HOPE:)

Laurie, Lauriez Life, 7/12/2001 2:57 PM
i’d just like to say what a wonderful site you have. i come from an abusive home and am currently in one. ur site gave me some facks and stats and i’m acually thinking about getting help.

desmond, n/a, 7/8/2001 5:50 AM
just stumbled across your site the same way i stumbled down the stairs, my ex-wife pushed me. DV is not as recognised among men as it is women, mainly for me as I am 6’6″ and my ex is 5′. Having pepper stuffed up your nose when your sleeping isn’t to pleasant. She still stalks me, Can I have something done about her (Legal only)

marilyn, , 6/20/2001 1:29 PM
I am a survivor of DV. I am currently researching for two books on DV. The need to increase society’s awareness of DV, it’s pervasiveness, it’s disguises, and it’s damage is great. Thanks for providing a forum for sharing.

Christina, , 6/5/2001 1:47 PM
I want to thank you for this website. I am grateful to have found it, as now I may have someone to talk to, as I have never had before.

Jan, Tainted Thoughts, 5/15/2001 7:16 AM
Your site is great, informative and well organized. Thanks.

Patti Hawks, not yet, 5/12/2001 4:24 PM
Thank you for creating this enlightened web site. This site has much to offer, and I have passed it along to others in need. God Bless Patti

Jessica Oppel, , 5/5/2001 6:29 PM
I my self am also a survivor of domestic abuse. I lost my children lost my home lost everything I have ever worked for. It took my 2 years to gain the custody of my 3 children back. I am now in collage making something for my self and my children. I vow to them and my self I will never let this happen again. I give people credit for going through what I went through. Sites like this really help someone looking for someone to talk to and to listen. If I can help just one person I would be so happy. the one person I could help hopefully can help someone else. There are too many people getting hurt. One day hopefully there will be no such thing as domestic violence. Until then I will help all I can.

Rachael Shanyfelt, , 4/30/2001 8:51 AM
I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and at nearly 35 with two children, I’m in college. I’m doing a research paper on DV and found your page. Bravo!

Elizabeth, DizzyLizzy’s Home, 4/27/2001 5:55 AM
thank you for your site – god bless all

Heather, , 4/26/2001 10:08 PM
Thanks as one survivor to another but one thing to remember that a lot of times abuse and rape go hand in hand I would like to suggest a book for those who are dealing with that entire bowl of wax something thast really helped me the title is “Who’s Afraid of the Dark” You ahve done a great thing with the website and I wanted you to know how much it is truly appreciated. Thanks you from the bottom of my heart.

KATHY, , 4/25/2001 9:02 AM

justin, Rolling Wheel, 4/21/2001 2:14 AM
Transforming the wounds we have received into gifts of healing for the community is so very important. Thank you for your inspirational work.

magnolia, magnolia’s southern home, 3/31/2001 5:25 PM
thanks for letting me know about your site… keep up the good work with the women of the world…this is one site that is needed for so many…you are a treasure!!!

DollyB, DollyB’s Homepage, 3/31/2001 11:40 AM
I am sorry it has taken so long for me to come visit you, but I just wanted to come and extend a warm welcome to WOSIB. I also wanted to tell you that I have recently started a profiles page on my web page for the group. Just a little something to get to know everyone…… come and check it out and fill out a form if you want. Again welcome to the group!!

Victoria D. Gaines, The Story of a PROUD Nut Case, 3/26/2001 12:40 PM
Thank you Jeannine, ever so much for this site. It is beautifully laid out and so personal and informative. Thank you for your sharing your story and your contribution to the fight to end domestic violence. Together we shall change the world!

Deborah Frichette-Ku, Tutoring & Translation Service, 3/24/2001 7:29 PM
Thank you for sharing how someone can become a victim of domestic violence. This information is so helpful. Not until I got out of some pretty sick situtions did I realize I had put up with power,control and male priviledge. Thank God for recovery which has taught me a lot about myself and how I invited abuse. Thank you.

Adriene M, ONELOVESTUFF, 3/18/2001 5:09 AM
Hi, and welcome to Women of Strength and Inner Beauty! We are so happy you joined our group!!!

Blue Fairy, Heart of Camelot, 3/14/2001 4:30 PM
I just stopped in to your beautiful home to wish you a warm welcome to Women Of Strength & Inner Beauty. ~Hugs~ Blue Fairy

Lo Lem, Lo Lem’s Dwelling, 3/13/2001 10:56 AM
Hi there my new sis! Welcome to WOSIB! This is a wonderful group of ladies whom I know you will love and enjoy being with them. Feel free to sign up for the egroups if you don’t mind getting TONS of mail each day 😛 … browse through our event garden and see if you like any of the events we’re offering 😛 It’s really fun and if you need anything at all, please let me know. I’m just an email away 😉 You have a beatiful website! I truly enjoyed my visit and looking forward to know you better. Your WOSIB sis, Lo Lem

Tammy, Life’s A Beach, 3/13/2001 9:52 AM
Hi and welcome to Women of Strength and Inner Beauty! I hope you enjoy this wonderful group as much as I do. If you haven’t already, please consider joining one of our gardens, it’s a lot of fun, and it’s a wonderful way to make some new friends! I enjoyed my visit to your page and will be back to look around some more!

CajunRose, CajunRose’s World, 3/12/2001 2:12 PM
Welcome to Women of Strength and Inner Beauty. You have a lovely site here…think I’ll romp a little longer :o). Hope you enjoy being a part of WOSIB. There’s tons of fun and sharing and the most awesome women online. See you in the email list :o). Please take moment to visit my Dedication to WOSIB. I have gifts for members there. The place to find it is Huggz from Ellie

Lesa, Lesa’s Snowglobes, 3/12/2001 9:51 AM
Just wanted to stop by and welcome you to WOSIB. So glad you joined our group. I hope you like it here! Take care and hugs, Receiver Lesa

Kim (Rhiannon3_),, 3/9/2001 8:57 PM
It’s so nice having a colleague to talk with – and site like this to visit. I’ve met many wonderful people here. Finding this place and the group who come here has been a wonderful thing for me.

Angela (Holly), , 3/8/2001 11:12 AM
Just to say a BIG thank you to Jeannine and all the other brave ladies (and gentlemen) who make this site one of the best on the web. Its great that we come here and help each other out – no criticisms or judgements – just people who want to help each other out. That is so special and rare ! I have had so much care and support from this site, there’s always a friendly message and a shoulder to (virtually) cry on ! Long may it continue ! Take care… Ang (Holly !!) xxx

Dianna, , 3/7/2001 8:04 AM
Hi! Thank you for keeping this site going. Love and Light, Dianna Maryland/US

Nafissatou D. Sidibe, , 3/5/2001 9:28 AM
Congratulation on this wonderful website. I am glad that survivors like you take the step to disseminate their story so widely. Many other women around the world will be able to realize that they are not alone in their situation and that they too can get out of it. I also appreciated the different very practical sections such as moving forward, recommended books and for emergencies that will help other victims. Keep up the good work. Nafissatou